Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A is for Adultery

The Rogue Speaks:

If north Georgia is, as James Dickey once said, the “country of the nine-fingered people,” then I believe that south Georgia is a woman whose waist has been cinched wasp-like by the Bible Belt. 

That old dinosaur, Pat Robertson said last week that if men commit adultery, it is just not their fault, and women who are married to such men should do whatever they can to bring those unfaithful men back into the marriage bed in such a way that they no longer want to stray.  He goes on to say that women should entice their husbands back by dressing seductively, not criticizing their actions,  being sweet and loving, blah, blah blah.   Old Pat believes that men stray because “that’s just the way men are.”  Hogwash, I say.

I mentioned Pat’s remarks to a friend, a true woman of the south, and her response was that she doesn’t “necessarily disagree” with Pat Robertson.  I’m the outsider here, even though I was born in the south and lived here for many years before exploring new horizons.  Those words caused an alarm to go off in my head.  They made me back off and want to tell her that I had to dash because I had an appointment for brain surgery in 30 minutes and just could not be late.  I am just not quick on my feet .

Another golfing friend was totally incensed at Pat’s remarks.  A transplant from New Jersey, she was quick to make her views known.

“Cheat on me, buddy, and I will make your life a living hell.  I will stalk you like a hawk to find out just what skanky slut has managed to convince you that you are some kind of god who can do whatever-the-hell you want.  I will be relentless.  You can tell me that “it’s over,” and that you “made a mistake,” and that you’ll “never do it again,” but you had better believe that I won’t trust you again for a New York minute. 

If I am a woman of little means, with children to raise, then I will knuckle down and figure out just what it is going to take for me to be self-sufficient and raise my children on my own.  Of course, I will sue your ass for maintenance and child-support, but I will not live with you any longer than I have to.  I will take you to the cleaners.   If you don’t pay up, then you will definitely go to jail.  I will see to it!”

“Have you ever been poor?” I asked.  “Do you have children?”  (Sometimes less is more.)

“Some shall be pardon’d, and some punished.*”

Women have gotten the short end of the stick way too long, and organized religion has not helped them one iota.  We have been told far too long that the husband is the head of the household, and that women should listen and obey his wise counsel.  Any woman with half a brain knows that is just not true.  All one has to do is look at the state of the nation, run primarily by men, to know that women in charge could whip this country into shape and not even break a nail!  Admit it!  You have thought that more than once!  I just cannot see women behaving the way some of those jerks in Washington do. (Well, except for Olivia Pope, who has been sleeping with "President Fitz" in Scandal.  Hahahaha!!!)

I was happy to see those wives of political figures dump their cheating husbands.  I frankly think that Hillary should have dumped Bill, but she did have furthering her own agenda in mind, I suppose.  I am sure that theirs isn’t the only marriage that operates more like a business partnership.  Guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.

I guess what I really question about Pat Robertson’s remarks  about men and adultery is that the last time I checked,  “Thou shalt not commit adultery” was still one of the Ten Commandments.  I don’t think one can pick and choose what commandments to obey, and which to ignore.  Since God seems to talk to Pat an awful lot, Pat should just ask God about that one and tell us what God says.  After all,  those Commandments ARE His!!  AND I think it is just plain wrong of Pat to blame another person for the shortcomings of the spouse.  We are adults, and therefore responsible for ourselves and our own actions.  "The Devil made me do it" just doesn't work in the 21st Century.

It's time, I think, to put old Pat out to pasture, or send him off to the glue factory.  He is starting to plain out smell of decay.

This is my offering for Jenny’s Alphabe-Thursday.  Please read the other offerings for the letter “A.”  I’m heading over there right now!!!

*Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliette, Act 5, Scene 3   


Karen S. said...

This was great, and I know it had to feel as good writing this too! As for dear old Pat, I just never had time for him, or any of those folks that make a living at directing us for our own good. Mostly because like our other favorite big-mouth-money-maker, (Rush) they all do and say what they can for the big bucks. Now if someone were to speak on behalf of just speaking and not receiving greenbacks, I might give them a little attention! It's so awesome to catch your post, hope all is coming around for you. I've missed your strong minded chats here!

lissa said...

I can't agree with Pat either though I am not an expert on the subject. every marriage is different but I could never stay with anyone who cheats so, that's that.

hope you have a sweet day.

Anonymous said...

quite the post for A ~ monogomy is how I see it ~ take or leave it ~ namaste, carol ^_^

Along These Lines ... said...

What century is Robertson living in?

VBR said...

Sadly, I think that this is a sentiment that is secretly held by many people. Whether you are the wife or the fling - somehow you have contributed to the downfall of a poor defenseless man. Whenever these airwave men of God spout some little gem like this, I can't help thinking that ratings must be slipping. The coffers are emptying. Time to create a little conflict to get the spotlight back on them and the dollars rolling in.
Bottom line, if someone cheats, in a committed affair or in serial one night stands, that person is the one who is responsible for his actions. Not boring little wifey, or hottie honey. Just jerky him.
And, to all the Hottie Honeys of the world remember - If he cheats WITH you, he will cheat ON you.

Aaaah! I think that your letter A subject has gotten us off to an awesome start!
Glad to see you back.

Martha Kasper said...

Well said! My mind went immediately to the Ten Commandments when I first heard Pat's ideas!

It's stuff like this that makes now in my middle years to question organized religions!

I'm joining for the first time.

A is for Assateague

Judie said...

Organized religion! The longer I live, the more I see how quickly the members of organized religion can turn into dangerous gangs, bent on destruction. But that is a post for another day!

Sarah~Magnolia Surprise said...

Old Pat apparently uses the Commandments as "suggestions." It is fun, however, to listen to his "sage" remarks.... if you can stomach him.
As for adultery, that does go both ways after all, and each person in a marriage has to decide what's best for them -- but the trust factor is a huge one. And the adulterer is always the one in the wrong -- no spouse can lead him or her in that direction by their actions.
You've started the alphabet off with a bang!!

Anonymous said...

I would certainly agree that men are responsible for their own actions (as are women). It isn't the wife's fault, but it also isn't the "other woman's" fault. Sadly women get blamed both ways.

Debra @ Homespun said...

Pat Robertson's a A** if he said that. My grandparents used to watch his show all of the time and he must have dementia now or something :)

EG CameraGirl said...

You sure are good at getting me all fired up, Judie! :))

Of course God doesn't have separate rules for men and women! When you realize that most of the humans involved in the origins of organized religion are MEN - and most certainly the ones who wrote the "rules" down - then you can understand why the rules are more strict for women than for men. Just sayin'!

Sue said...

That's crazy. Whatever happened to "God is no respecter of persons?"

No favoritism from on high, as far as I'm concerned. Quite the opposite from a just God.


Judie said...

God doesn't play favorites, but humans certainly do. That is especially true of certain sects that fight to keep women down, have no respect for people who were born different from what they perceive to be "normal," and teach that our God is a God of vengeance, who is quick to judge and destroy.

JJ said...

Judie: As a man happily married for many years, I absolutely agree with you. What a load of crap. This is why we must separate Church and State, if we are to reach any accord in the USA. Wait until I see you. We have SOOOO much to discuss! Good post.

Judie said...

A commenter said, "Sadly, it's not the other woman's fault" but have known of women who deliberately set out to destroy a marriage out of pure selfishness.

Lola said...

Indeed! What century IS Robertson living in?

Fantastic post, Judie

Pam Beers. said...

Great writing, Judi! Personally, I think Pat is a dirty old man.

Aside from that, the 7th commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," is just that, A COMMANDMENT from God, not a suggestion.

Granny-Guru said...

I read recently that a Middle Eastern country sent a guy home who had traveled to their country because he was too good looking. They were afraid he would tempt their women.

Lmkazmierczak said...

Loved your rant..Sorry to say I've never listened to Pat. Each will answer for the distractions? Sins? Trespasses? foisted on each other. The Holy Spirit is the only help we get in this life, who in turn makes us want to obey those 10 commandments. My 2 cents. And thanks for commenting on my new website's blog! (

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

That was good! Thank you for saying it so well. When I first heard what he said I thought he was dating himself. It sounded like it was right out of 1953.

Pondside said...

Woo-Hoo, Judie, you have stirred things up! The idea that there is a different standard for men and women is anathema to me. Organised religion has a lot to answer for, but the subjugation of women is one of the big ones. The best revenge is to raise our daughters to be strong, independent women and our sons to be decent, strong men.

Judie said...

No matter how hard I try to stay away from controversy, I just cannot seem to do it! There is just so much bad stuff going on these days, and my artist's heart screams out for the insanity to cease!!!

Ames said...

Humm? Do you think maybe "Old Pat" is trying to justify something? And last I checked "Thou shalt not commit adultery" was still one of the Ten Commandments.Shame on "Old Pat"!

Jenny said...

As always an amazing post!

I couldn't agree more that the Ten Commandments apply to women AND men!

Can't wait to see all your awesome ideas for this next round!

Thanks for linking!


Splendid Little Stars said...

Not taking responsibility for one's own actions is becoming increasingly problematic in our society.

Annesphamily said...

I absolutely detest anyone saying all men cheat and that blah blah blah! My father was a steel worker and when he was not working 12-16 hour shifts he was mowing the lawn, trimming the trees, shoveling the snow. Until the day he passed away he adored my mother and the two of them lived for each other. I was appalled when Clinton made his half hearted apology to America. I think our country is beginning to stink more and more by what is going on and Pat Robertson, like Charleston Heston at the end of his NRA era and the beginning of his Alzheimer's need to learn to Shut the front door!!!!! As Abraham Lincoln once said "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
ught a fool than to open