Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Adultery, and The Exploding Life Diet

The Rogue Speaks:

When your adulterous husband leaves you for a younger (i.e. "trophy") woman, you just may be exposed to "The Exploding Life Diet."  You are so shocked, so hurt, and oh so furious that you just stop eating.  This is not a diet that I want to try.  In fact, no woman goes on this diet deliberately--it just happens.

I have an old friend who is on this diet.  She's lost 30 pounds.  Her husband, who qualified for Medicare almost 10 years ago, was flattered by a younger, narcissistic  woman who probably thought she was getting a "sugar-daddy."  She seduced him, and because we all know what part of their anatomy (that is NOT their brain) men think with, the next thing my friend knew, her husband was moving out, and seeing an attorney.

What's up (no pun intended) with some of these guys who can be so easily suckered in by a conniving woman who is blatantly breaking up a marriage for her own edification and enjoyment?  I know that deep down, she can't be proud of what she is doing, because when her family comes a-calling, her Senior Citizen boyfriend is forbidden to show his face.

What exactly does a woman who is ten years shy of Social Security want with a married man who is twenty years her senior? Is she looking for someone to pay all her bills?  In this case, I hope she doesn't think he's wealthy, because the state in which she (and he) live is a community property state, so after the divorce, he'll only have one half of what he has now, and of course there is alimony, plus lawyer's fees!   I hope she's thought ahead to when she's 70 and he's over 90!  If he lives that long, she just might be taking care of a sick old man day in and day out.  Or, if he should suffer a debilitating stroke 5 years or less from now, her caregiver role could begin much sooner!

But maybe she doesn't really care about all that for now.  Maybe she just has her eyes on a goal, and has tunnel-vision about the rest of the picture.  OR, maybe she has started now, collecting sleeping pills so she can pop one in his evening cocoa and go out to a fancy dress ball after tucking him in for the night.

I feel soooooo sorry for my friend, that she is having to go through this.  No woman should!  But she is a strong woman (well, except for The Exploding Life Diet), and highly intelligent, creative, talented and thoughtful,  and she will survive this.  Maybe she'll go on to start a successful non-profit like Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, and Bette Midler did in that comedy  a few years back.  Ahhh! Revenge is sweet!

This concludes my offering for Jenny's Alphabe-Thursday.  I hope our Jenny is recovering from those pesky aches, pains, and trauma.  We love you, Jenny!!!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Z is for ZUGZWANG

The Rogue Speak:

 
 
Zugzwang, a German word meaning "obligation to move," is actually a chess term.  To be "in zugzwang" is to be at a disadvantage because the player must make a move, even though he had rather pass when it is his turn to play.
 
I know nothing about chess, except of course the names of the pieces, and what the board looks like.  I am, however, taking a "refresher course" in bridge.  What does that mean?  Well, it means that even though I have been playing bridge off and on ever since I was in college, I never knew what I didn't know about the game.  Oh, I kind of suspected that I didn't know, but we always played "party bridge," where there was always a lot of laughing, gossiping, snacks, and maybe some wine.
 
Now I am learning bridge on a whole different level, and I have a constant fear of being "in zugzwang" if I make the wrong bid or play the wrong card, because if I do, I will definitely "go down," or lose. 
 
The kind of bridge that I am attempting to learn is "duplicate," and there is no table talk, or wine, or snacks.  This is serious stuff!  I have to actually think! My partner and I can have no signals, like faking a sneeze to tell my partner to pass, or stating my bid in the form of a question, like on Jeopardy. To me, bridge is a game of numbers, and math has never been my strong point.  I am always on the edge of understanding it, but just not quite!!
 
There is just soooo much to remember!  I have to add up my partner's points with my points, after I figure out just how many points my partner has.  Then I have to figure out how many points the opponents have, and who has what why.  See what I mean?
 
After we have settled on a contract, then we have to actually PLAY the cards, or if the opponents get the contract, I have to play to defeat them.  I have to "lead," or play the first card.  Oh!  My head is spinning!  I fear that if I play the wrong card I will be "in zugzwang!!"  But this is not chess; it is bridge and I am doing this for FUN.  Really? Hahahaha!
 
I WILL learn how to play bridge!  There is something very satisfying about playing a cerebral game at my age.  I'm old, you know.  Wish me luck!