Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012
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Saturday, June 19, 2010

DROP BACK TEN AND PUNT

The Rogue Speaks:

One morning, you wake up and you know that things are just not right. You feel fat! You feel bloated! Your brain feels like a sea sponge! You are suffering from CON-STI-PATION! All that unwise eating and drinking have caught up with you! You know what you have to do now. You have to purge! As you can tell by my last seven posts, I did just that! And I feel better than I have felt in, well, in forever!

Of course, you all suffered along with me, and while I appreciate it more than you will ever know, it is done now. I can go on with my life, and feel really good that the ghosts are forever banished from the place of honor that they held for so long. Now I am honoring myself, and my life with my husband and my children. Yipee!

Keil and I played golf today. Yes, I know this is Tucson and it is bloody hot, and no one in their right mind is going to go out when it is 103 degrees, but that is our life here. We drink at least a gallon of water every day, and we hardly make a pit stop.

The course is very dry, and brown patches of grass are everywhere. That doesn't deter us. It just means that we have to be a little more conservative in our club selection. The sprinkling system is on a timer this time of year, and we never know when it is going to come on. It does know, however, when I am in the middle of the fairway, hitting a crucial shot to the green.

I take my stance, and in the middle of my back swing, the sprinklers come on. O.k., yes, I know I am standing right by a sprinkler head! I SEE it! But I am never prepared for that sudden spray of water that reminds me of when I was giving birth, and found myself standing in a puddle.

The shock of having water shoot up your nose, or your ass, is not something that you are likely to forget any time soon. I cough, I sputter, I hit an errant shot that ends up much farther away than I deserve! I was having such a good round! But if I end up with a double bogey, it will be more than I deserve.

At least I am alive. At least I have people whom I can trust, whom I can fall back on when things get tough, I am lucky! I have survived the worst that life can throw at you.

22 comments:

bluzdude said...

You should be able to claim that as a "mulligan", or otherwise claim relief.

So do you go running through the sprinklers once they come on? I know I would if it was 103...

Judie said...

Hahaha! I knew that a sport would bring you back!
The cart got so wet, that Keil was frowning when I sat down. Hmmm, I don't think the fact that I was beating him by more than 20 strokes net had anything to do with it.
If I want to get wet, I come home and jump in the pool with my clothes on.
I used to be a pretty good golfer, but a four year layoff while I was creating art and starting an art guild has taken its toll.
All in all, I think I am doing pretty well.
I only take a mulligan on the first tee. I have my standards!!

The Guy's Perspective said...

Judie,
Sorry for the confusion. THE GUYS are really THE GUYS...plural. I started off wanting to remain completely anonymous and so did some of the other guys. (I'm "One of the Guys." "Suburban Guy" is a different person.) But I decided today that I would put my first name on my posts from now on to make it more clear, especially since I'm part of the podcast, and I'm revealing my first name there too. Also, I've been getting some Op-Ed pieces published in various papers, and if people come to the blog, I want it to be somewhat clear.

Anyway, blah, blah.....

I'm glad you're feeling renewed. Sometimes we need to cleanse ourselves, and what better way than to write about it!!

You're lucky to have such strong relationships with your immediate family. That's something to cherish as you do.

Have you been watching the U.S. Open? Tiger made a run yesterday. It should be interesting.

Bruce Coltin said...

Thank you for getting my attention. I'm now reading through your posts. It can't be easy when the demons in your life are the ones who were supposed be protecting you. I'm happy to know that your strength got you through it, and continues to get you through it. I'll keep reading.

Judie said...

Sae, thanks for your comments. I am lucky to have such a good support system.

Of course I am watching the U.S. Open! It would be sacrilege to do anything else today.
Rod and I have seen that course, but have not played it--way too expensive!

Bruce, Thank YOU! I feel so much better now. The annual trips to Atlanta are coming to an end. Mum's birthday (96) is in October, but I doubt that she will make it that long.

I've had enough angst to last me for a long time!

nothingprofound said...

Judie-just saw your comment on my blog, so am catching up with your latest posts. Been slightly indisposed this week with computer problems, but back on track now. Sounds like you've purged yourself and are back to enjoying your Tucson life,in spite of diabolical sprinkler systems and the sweltering heat. Off now to read installments five through seven.

Judie said...

Thanks, Marty. I had missed hearing from you. Glad you're back!

Buffi Neal said...

If you were beating him by 20 strokes, you must be a great player - or he is terrrible. I would love to even beat my kids by 20 strokes.
Watching the US open with you today... can't believe I missed the big come-back of the old guys yesterday!
-Buffi
My Wonderfully Dysfunctional Blog

Judie said...

I used to be a LOT better! And he used to be a lot worse. Eventually, he will be able to beat me. It's no fun when you are a young guy and your old mom plays better than you do. Still, he always wants to go out with me when he gets home from work (he starts work at 5 in the morning), so I must be doing something right. He can hit the ball a ton! He just doesn't always know where it is going!
The three of us, Keil, Rod, and I are hanging out in front of the t.v. today. It should be a great show!

Sarah said...

LOL! I heard jello shots are good for golf. They make the event much more fun!

Judie said...

Sara, the best jello shots around are ones our daughter makes for LSU football games. If the Tigers lose, we're all so blasted, we don't even care!

After the bloody marys and the mint juleps we had at our member/gueest last March, my partner could barely see the hole. My mistake was giving her mine--booze and golf are a BAD mix for me! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Joann Mannix said...

Um...Judie, I see exactly what you mean. Wow. I told you!

I just finished something called the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. Have you heard of it? It promises results within the month and it's only 20 minutes long. I figured, how bad can this be?

Let me tell you. I'd rather have a fire hydrant's worth of water up my ass. This bitch is a demon from hell. That's my workout story for the day. I might have to take up golf instead.

I know you're ready to move on, but just one more time, I'd like to say, that you did a tremendous job on your journey story. And I'm glad it helped, to make you feel a little lighter.

Judie said...

You did! It is so bizarre! We are the stronger of the two by far!

I haven't heard of the 30 day shred. Where did you come across it? If it works better than a high colonic with water and tabasco, I'll try it.

OHMMMMM! That's me being so calm and contented. It's not so much that I am ready to move on--it's that I can do it gracefully.
Thank you for your contribution to my well-being.

Elisa said...

Judie, I have jello brain today and can't think. I did LOL at the water shooting up your ass. :) Will re-read tomorrow and hopefully post something mildly coherent.

Judie said...

Marty, I just saw the comment you left on Chapter 7. I responded to you there.

Elisa, please don't post anything mildly coherent, because I would have to respond in kind. Just be yourself. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Drama Mama said...

Thanks for leaving some love on my blog today. I think I could pull up a chair and make myself comfy here too!

Judie said...

I hope you do just that! Other than the angst of The Road Home, we usually have some fun here!

Angelia Sims said...

Well done, Judie. The end is always the beginning and those survivor skills come in mighty handy. Unless you are golfing in front of a sprinkler. Ouch. That gives a whole new meaning to wedgie. May have to call that a wedgema (wedgie+enema). HA.

Judie said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I love it! I got wet again today! But it wsn't a wedgema! It was 104 today, so I really didn't mind getting cooled of a little bit.

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