Lois Ada Lillian Keillor McEwen

The Rogue Speaks:
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We are leaving in a couple of hours for Atlanta. Rod is the executor of Mum's estate, so I don't know how long we will be gone.
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Please keep us in your thoughts.

PARTAY!!!!!!!

The Rogues Speaks:

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If you think that is me up there, sailing along over the Gulf of Mexico, well, think again! I prefer to get my thrills on dry land, thank you very much! And believe me, I do! I love a good party, with all my friends, so this is just a lead-in into my week:

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The Guild had a great cocktail party on Thursday night at Michelangelo's, a wonderful Italian restaurant not too far from our neck of the woods. We haven't all been together since last winter, so it was fun to see my artist friends.

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My BFA and I needed to prime the pump beforehand, so on Tuesday afternoon, we met at Amarsi for drinks and some of their divine stuffed mushrooms. Of course, Thomas was our waiter, ready to serve and spoil us as usual! We had a nice table in the corner, away from the eavesdroppers. Thomas stood guard in case anyone tried to join in our animated and fascinating conversation. Of course I can't tell you what transpired, because it is supposed to be all hush-hush. I'm sure you know just how quiet we were!!

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We were really pumped up at Michelangelo's, which was packed when we arrived. Give me a glass of wine, and a couple of minutes, and I can get into full party mode. There is no telling what might come out of my mouth, as the wife of one of the officers found out. I can't believe that I told her her husband pinched my ass at the meetings. Hope she knows that I was just kidding! That was after the FIRST glass of wine. Too bad I didn't stop there! But noooo--I had yet another, which I think affects my hearing, because when the MC called for the founding members to come up to the mic, I thought they said FAMILY members, and I kept trying to drag Rod along with me. My hearing deficit is becoming well-known, so everyone started laughing and yelling "FOUNDING!"

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My BFA and I used to know every single member by name. I think she still does, but after serving on the board for so many years, I decided to take a break and sit in the audience for a while. Oh, wait! I just remembered that there are some people that she gets confused about! One year, when I was yet again the nominating committee, I nominated a very good member for secretary. I asked my BFA to ask her if she would serve. Only she asked the wrong person. I was horrified! She had asked a person who was known for being a bit flighty, and there were no take-backs! The two sort of looked alike, so it was an honest mistake, I guess. At any rate, the person accepted and was thrilled. I, not so much! That turned out to be the only year that we had no minutes to speak of, and very few board meetings, as well. It was not our finest hour.

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That year is long behind us, and this year we have a stellar board! They are so good and so efficient that, except for Holidazzle, I can be the spectator I have always wanted to be. Those people give great party, let me tell you! For a mere $5 a head, we had all the wine we could drink, and delicious appetizers. I ate enough that I wasn't hungry for dinner, and it's a good thing, because after two glasses of wine, God only knows what would have come out of the skillet!

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There is great comfort in being with like-minded people. They become a touchstone when life gets a little rough, and the muses play hide-and-seek for months at a time. They are like my blogging friends. Whenever I need to be mentally stimulated, all I have to do is click on a favorite blog. Then I can laugh my ass off, or quietly contemplate what a friend has written about life.

It restores me, and uplifts me. Now, don't get the big head, o.k? I don't think of all of you as someone out of Psalm 100, or anything like a religious experience! I just think you are so nice, and supportive, and SMART! I'm glad we found each other.

East is East and West is West

The Rogue Speaks:

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We had a glorious time in Cancun! The resort was so excellent, the food was delightful, and the water was EVERYWHERE! The best part was that I got some quality time with my sister-out-law, and all of her family, whom I had not seen for ages and ages. It was especially nice that we seemed to pick up just where we left off many moons ago. Only very compatible people can do that!

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Unfortunately, I did get sick, but it was NOT turista! I caught a virus from a woman from Chicago who was down for the week. She and I were in the pool at the same time, and she was coughing her f****** brains out! It was a deep and juicy cough that can scare the peewonkadoodle out of you and make you run for the Lysol spray. All I could see were those minute spray particles shooting out twelve feet and right into my face!! I made a mad dash for the ladder, and did not go back into the pool AT ALL! This was on Thursday, so I just spent Friday at the beach, drinking Corona over ice with limes, and eating Yucatan tacos with plenty of Tabasco. I could have been MUCH sicker if I had not had the Tabasco.

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The service was the best I have had in a LONG time (except for Thomas at Amarsi, who is the best server ever!!). The Mexicans who live here are decendants of the Mayans (hince the name of the resort--The Royal Mayan), and they are the kindest, most gentle, most polite people in Mexico. They are also the most hard-working. Plus, they are ALWAYS smiling!

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Sometimes the smiling must be hard for them. Especially when their wealthy countrymen from Mexico City come here to vacation. They are snooty and rude, and they are TERRIBLE tippers.

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But the gentle Mayan people just take this all in stride. Because of the terrific tourist industry, they ALWAYS have jobs. That is more than we can say for a lot of the people in our country. The Mayan people are not afraid of hard work, and they will do anything to support their families.

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I am thinking that the Mexicans to the west of Cancun should come to Quintana Roo if they want to find work. There are so many resorts going up on a regular basis, that they should be able to find work readily. I don't think the people on the Yucatan Peninsula even think about sneaking across the border to find a better life.

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Well, so much for the editorializing! The purpose of our vacation was to spend time with Susan and her family. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see as much of her poor husband as we would have liked to. He was hard at work as an attorney for a major law firm in the U.S. If you watched Obama on the news today, he had a big hand in Obama's announcement.

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Shortly after that fat bitch from Chicago coughed on me in the pool, I started to feel all achy and hot. Then I was cold. Then I was hot again. We left Cancun at 8 a.m. on Saturday morning, and by the time we got into Tucson, my body was SCREAMING for my bed. I just could not make myself hunt for the thermometer, so I just crashed into bed with my two dogs. I took some aspirin around 7 a.m., and found the thermometer at around 9. My temp had dropped to 101.

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If I could get the same deal again, I would return to Cancun in a heartbeat. I'd just make sure that that bitch wasn't around, and I would want to spend my time with the same delightful family who was so gracious and warm to me this trip.

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p.s. The pool you see above is only ONE of the MANY pools in the complex. This one happens to be the closest one to our suite, and to the palapa where they serve food!!

HAPPY SANDY FEET!!

The Rogue Speaks:
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The original date of this post is March 12, 2010. Since I am leaving for Cancun at o'dark thirty on Saturday, and since my thoughts this week have been on just how few clothes I can get away with taking so I don't have to check my bag and pay the big bucks, I thought I would let you chew on this instead.
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I don't have a blackberry, so I can't check in on you while I am gone, but I will be thinking about all my blogger friends who are NOT on vacation, and smiling (because I am so lucky to even get to have this vacation!).
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At the time it was written, we only had one dog, Precious. But now we have Mulligan, and if we attempted to drive to Cancun with both dogs in the car, I am sure it would be our last trip on earth. Keep this in mind when you get to the part about Precious, and remember that Mulligan sings whenever Precious starts to bark like a dog with rabies. Now that you have that picture, please continue!

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I wish these were my feet, but sadly they are not! They belong to my sister-out-law. She used to be my sister-in-law when she was married to my crazy brother, but she made an extremely smart move, filed for divorce, went back to school, and got a law degree, and married a terrific guy who is loving and caring. We think he is ever-so-much nicer and more fun than the crazy one. An added plus is that he is NORMAL. Those of you who know me, know why this is such an important attribute.

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Those happy sandy feet were on the beach in Cancun. I got pictures enticing me to get on a plane and come join them. Oh, how sorely tempted I was! But this is way too busy a time in the art world to take off to Cancun, lie in the sun (or shade), read a good book, and watch the waves.

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My sister-out-law and I haven't been able to spend much time together in the last several years, but we plan to make up for that! I have made a firm commitment to her and her dream-of-a husband that Rod and I will come in July, when it is 110 degrees here, and almost everyone is complaining about the "dry heat."

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Yeah, I know you are thinking that Cancun is way out of my comfort zone. True! BUT one cannot drive to Cancun safely, and so we will FLY! I will not have to spend days and days driving through Mexico with bandits hiding along the roadside, just waiting for an opportunity to relieve us of our valuables, while our dog, Precious, barks her fool head off and pees on the seat of the car. No, she will be home with her brother, I will take some sort of tranquilizer, and our valuables will be stored in the baggage compartment after the baggage handlers have gone through them and have determined that we really HAVE nothing of value, and that my swim suit is way out of style!

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I know you think I will back out of this trip at some point because it is so far away, and if it were anyone but my sister-out-law, I admit that I would be tempted. However, that is not going to happen this time. Why, I even joined Facebook because I found out she had joined, and I figured I would hear from her more often if I did. My wall doesn't have anything on it that you can't find out by reading my blog, so don't even bother checking it out. Keep reading my blog, though, and give me some feedback with comments.
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p.s. She knows she needs another pedicure after all that sand. I have already told her.

DRY HEAT, MY ASS!!

The Rogue Speaks:

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We are going to watch fireworks at a friend's house tonight, and everyone is bringing a dish to share. I am bringing Southern style potato salad. I never make potato salad because it is one of my weaknesses. It is also loaded with fat and carbs, neither of which I need.

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It has been wicked hot here--as high as 110 in some areas of Tucson. I don't check the thermometer when it gets really hot. I have my own internal system for gauging the heat. It is called my brain. When it gets REALLY hot, I go into a stupor. I see things that aren't really there. Not stuff like heat on a black top that looks like water, a mirage. I see objects for something other than they really are.

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Today is one of those days when my brain gauge is on. I forgot a couple of items I needed for the potato salad, so I went to the store. As I was pulling into the street, I noticed something in my front yard that I had never seen before. It looked like a lawn statue of a green heron. I thought Rod had bought it for me to apologize for acting like a stereotypical man. I did a double-take, and realized that it only LOOKED like a lawn statue.

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What I thought was a bronze statue of a Great Desert Heron (the black lines, I added to make my point.) was actually some rabbit-ear cactus that had grown up over the spring.

Currently, my head is wrapped in an icy towel, in an attempt to cool my fevered brow before we go to the party tonight. I don't want to appear as half-witted as I actually feel.

Christmas in July? No! Don't Make Me Go!

The Rogue Speaks:
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The Southern Arizona Arts Guild has an annual event called Holidazzle. It is billed as a FABULOUS winter show and sale. Most of the time, it is just that. There have been years when the venue has not been exactly what we expected, and for those years it has been an event where the artists stand around and sell things to each other. I've gotten some really cool art from people whose work I admire, so it has been good for me.
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I was the first exhibition chair of the event 8 years ago, and I have had that job more times than I care to count since. It is a lot of work. You have to line people up to work shifts, and make sure they don't forget to show up, you have to teach people how to use the credit card machine, and how to write up sales receipts so each artist gets credit for sales. No one seems to remember that stuff from one year to the next, because we are programed to create, not perform repetititive work. You have to open, you have to close, you have to reconcile the cash box every night! Whew!! Since I am an artist and not a business administration major, it is a royal pain in the ass!
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The process for Holidazzle usually begins in the early fall, and my BFA and I flew by the seat of our pants to get it put together. We spent the fall months wild-eyed and panting, until everything was in place. We were so tired by the end of the show that we were glassy-eyed and tongue-tied, and swearing that next year we will start earlier, like in the summer.
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We said that, but did we actually mean that? Two years ago, I found a new treasurer for the Guild when my husband, who had been in that slot for four years, decided to retire--actually I think it was just after Holidazzle that he told us. Anyway, our new treasurer, Jane, is a veritable wonder woman! We are so lucky to have someone to keep us artists in place, financially, since we just don't do well with numbers unless we are painting them on something. Jane found us a terrific venue for Holidazzle last year, so we were thrilled to have her do that again. We just did not know that she planned to start looking so early, especially since my BFA and I are co-chairing the event again this year and we had planned to wait until the last f****** minute to throw it together.
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Jane wants to meet with us to discuss the venue, so we decided to get together for either lunch or cocktails, and talk about our options. My first option was to be left out of the planning process, but that didn't go over well. I have just barely gotten the fiascoes of last year's show out of my head, and now I have to start thinking about it again! Waaaaaaa! Not fair!!
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The emails concerning this meeting have been flying back and forth:
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BFA:... when we meet with Jane do you want to do lunch or cocktails??? I'm hoping to cajole her into doing most of the legwork as far as finding a venue for the dreaded "H." We are all in accord that ONE WEEK is max for this event (hopefully shorter.)
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Me: It doesn't matter. Either one is fine.
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BFA: I'll let Jane know we will do Cocktail O'Clock.
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Jane: Ladies, since it doesn't seem to matter what we do Tuesday how about if we do an early happy hour? Do you know what time it starts? I haven't a clue.
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Me: Sounds good to me. It may start at 5.
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BFA: WHEEEE!!! Jane's been a busy little beaver! That would be sooo great if we actually knew our venue before end of November. I cut and pasted the following from Metropolitan's website. Is 3:00 too early to meet? I'll pick Judie up (then dump her on her front lawn when we're done)


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Happy Hour!
Join us in our Lounge
Daily from 3pm - Close

Half Price Appetizers & $1 Off Wines, Well and Beer.

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Me: Please just drag me to the door! Those rocks hurt!
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Jane: What about 4?
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Me: Four is fine for me--five, and I'll be under the table. Oh! Are you talking about the TIME??
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So the meeting is set for Tueday at 4. I will be coming off the golf course a couple of hours before, so I may be brain-dead. I will be clean, though, and I'll have notepaper with me (to practice origami while Jane talks). My BFA will have paper and pen also. She is way better at multitasking than I am, so she will take the notes while creating beautiful artwork around the margins of her paper.
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I don't want to be thinking about Holidazzle in July! I'm hot! and I'm whiny! But I do like the Metropolitan Grill. And I am grateful to have someone like Jane. It makes me and my BFA look really good when the show opens!
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I'll invite you all to the reception. I will be the one behind the check-out table, smiling and staring off into space. Just wave your hand in front of my face. It's only a temporary coma.
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I am already feeling stupid, so if there are any misspelled words in this post, just ignore them.