OENOMANCY--A MUST-READ

The Rogue Speaks:

Well, I finally have a dashboard again so I can turn in my assignment.  Jenny would never believe that "the dashboard ate my homework."

This has been an  interesting week, politically, wouldn't you say?  The latest idiocy comes from Karl Rove regarding murdering Akin.  Murder is a pretty strong word, don't you think?? Of course, we all know how ruthless Karl is.

  And Clint Eastwood didn't exactly make any one's day last night with his odd ramblings to an empty chair.  I think his reputation as an actor has been seriously tarnished.  Romney's handlers really pissed in their chili by letting Eastwood speak in prime-time.  Despite the marginalizing of women by conservatives lately, Romney felt the need to bring in his wife to shore up his reputation. Isn't that the way it is, though?  The men make fools of themselves, and the wives have to come in a repair the damage.   Too bad she had to be subjected to Clint's mumblings.  She was obviously displeased.  My word to Clint today, "Don't eat the cookies!"

While gazing into my wine glass (oenomancy: divination by studying the appearance of wine),  it came to me in a trance!  This is going to be a pretty wild fall.  In my dream-state, brought on by the third glass, a strange creature slowly came into focus.  Oops!  Sorry! It was just Violet, the feral cat who has adopted us.  And there was Lizzie, barking frantically at the cat--barking, barking, barking, while Violet sat on the ottoman quietly, waiting to put out those claws and swat Liz on the nose.  Mulligan was remaining fairly neutral during all of this--kind of like the Swiss.

Now I know where the term "political animals" comes from.  I hate to place Liz in the category of "conservative," because she is anything but, but she was sounding like one last night with that annoying yapping without really saying anything intelligent.

Violet remained poised and professional, cool, yet on the alert for one slip-up by Liz.  She sat quietly, waiting, waiting for one foolish move by Liz, then SWAT!  Out come the claws!  OUCH!!  Unfortunately, Liz didn't learn her lesson the first time, and there definitely will be another encounter.  Eventually, though, she will learn, and when the votes are finally counted.....Need I say more?

My trance became deeper by the end of the third glass, so I put the cat out, got into my pj's, and climbed into bed.  What! You don't believe in oenomancy?  You think I just had too much wine?  We shall see, my friends.  We shall see.

"Go ahead! Make my day!"

PUNISHMENT!!

The Rogue Speaks:

Miss Jenny isn't feeling so good, I think.  She sounds like she's losing her voice, and I don't think it's from yelling at Mr. Jenny.  She's just not that kind of person, and Mr. Jenny is way too nice to be yelled at, anyway.  Still, she must be out of sorts to give us as a prompt, the ENTIRE alphabet!

I am still adjusting to my surroundings, so my thinking capacity is still somewhat in question, but I decided to try to tackle this anyway.  This is a true story, by the way, and only one name has been changed to protect the guilty!!!

Image from "Silver Chameleon"

PUNISHMENT

“You did this to yourself!” Abby thought, as she gazed out of the classroom window at the brilliant summer sky.  “If you just hadn’t mouthed off to Mr. Greene, the biology teacher, you wouldn’t be sitting here in summer school while everyone else is at the pool!!”

As an extra punishment, Abby’s mother had tacked on another class, lengthening her school day by one more hour.  “This is a very important thing to learn,” her mother had told her.  “Everyone should take this class, and you’re taking it whether you like it or not!”

“Stop daydreaming and get back to work!” Miss Fleming, the instructor, tapped Abby on the shoulder.

“Yes ma’am,” sighed Abby, as she typed ‘the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.’

NUH UH!!!

The Rogue Speaks:

It's Alphabe-Thursday, and I finally have an Internet connection!  Jenny and I have been calling back and forth, but we're always missing each other, and I've been pretty sad.  But today I can finally write about the letter N.  Jenny would be so proud!!  My "N" word is "Nuh uh!"

We drove into Brunswick on the 10th of August, closed on the house on the 13th, and the van finally showed up on the 16th.  We arrived at the house around 8  in the morning, and Mulligan and Lizzie were thrilled to run around outside in the back yard---as long as we were out there, too.  The garage was open and so was the front door, so of course they had to stay back there ALONE, with their noses pressed against the french doors, quietly crying.

Then the three dogs who live behind us came out to greet them!  Oh, joy! Something actually worth barking at! Other dogs!  This kept them occupied for about 15 minutes, then the dogs' owner called them in.  Back to the whine-fest.

I sat on a stool in my kitchen with my two giant bingo cards and a pen.  When the guys came by me with boxes or furniture, they would call out either an orange number or a green number, and I would cross off those blocks.  In the middle of all this, my new neighbor behind us popped in with a welcoming gift of wine, cheese, and triscuits, and an apology for her barking dogs.  She identified herself as a "gym rat" because that is where she spends her days--working out.  So I knew right off the bat that she was nothing like crazy Paula, my former backyard neighbor.  I was very grateful.  I was also grateful for the wine.

My new neighbor told me that the dogs like to try to dig under the fence, and I could see daylight in several areas on the back fence, and one actual very big hole that was almost dug through to our yard.  Her wiener dog had actually made it through that hole at one time in the past.  There are three dogs over there--the wiener, a little black poodle, and a big black dog who only sounds mean, but is really gentle as a lamb.

Over the next few days, all the dogs would stand at the fence and bark at each other, then they would get bored and wander back in the house.  One day, however, there was some serious racket out there, near where the almost-dug-through hole is.  There was a lot of racing back and forth and wild yapping.  I was watching this through the window.  Then most of the yapping came to an abrupt halt, except for poodle-yap.  Liz was staring at the almost-hole and slowly backing away.  Then I saw it--a little round black poodle head--just the head, nothing more, and it was yapping away.  It was so very strange to see.  A round black furry ball-like thing with a mouth, yapping wildly away.  I was mesmerized by it.  So was Liz.  She stared at it in amazement, while all the time backing away.  In fact, she backed her little self all the way to the steps then turned and ran up onto the deck.

"Come back!!!" yelled the strange black thing with a mouth.  "Come back and play!!"

"Nuh uh!" said Liz, braver now that she was standing behind me on the deck.  "Nuh uh! I'm not playing with any round black furry dog head!  NUH UH!!!"

O.k, so it's not my usual political rant, but you must admit, it's pretty funny. No? Well, maybe you had to be there.  Any way, I am directing you here for a political rant that is ever so much better than any of mine.  I guarantee that you will not be disappointed!!!  So let me know what you think.

Lawsey, Miss Scahlet!!!

The Rogue Speaks:

It's time once again for Jenny's Alphabe-Thursday and the letter this week is "L," as in "LAWSEY, MISS SCAHLET!'  Yeah, o.k., so it's a little poetic license, so what?????  Crikey!  I don't even know if it is "L" or "M"!  I am in a time warp!  Whatever!  Here is my offering!  It can go either way!!!!

Prissy didn't know "nothing 'bout birthin' no babies,"  but times have changed.  The 99% know A LOT MORE these days than the 1% about the mysteries of life.  I have found that out, in spades, in the last week.  The "locals" here in Brunswick  are so quick to come to one's aid, and are very efficient at it as well.  They are are kind and friendly, and don't give a rat's ass about "the bottom line."

We have been at this LaQuinta for almost a week.  It is clean, and well laid out, so when I turn the air down to 65 so I can sleep, the cold air doesn't bounce off the drapes or the bed and shut down.  The manager, Robert, is way cool!!  He let me use his computer when the other one was down.  His staff is fabulous!  They are friendly and helpful and KIND!  I just may come back here when I am out running errands just so I can hang out with these folks for a few minutes.

The "big guns," on the other hand--well, they are another story.  The right hand hasn't a clue as to what the left hand is doing, and sadly, they don't really even care.  AND if they can squeeze another nickel out of you, believe me, they will do it in a heartbeat.  Hmmmm--Kind of like the federal government!  This is the perfect time for me to interject that if you vote for Romney (the current Sara Palin clone), you are in for a LOT of squeezing that you never expected unless you are VERY rich!!!  MARK MY WORDS!!  It's kind of like the first George Bush--"Read my lips! No new taxes!"  Remember that???

AT&T wanted $100 from me today so I  could have a router/modem for WiFi.  Did they get it???  Mwahahahaha!  NO!!!  I told them I didn't have to go with them, that I could pick someone else, and they backed down  PDQ.  So the equipment is being sent to my home for free, but unfortunately it won't arrive for 4-5 days.  GRRRRR!!  On August 6th, I set the whole internet thing up with AT&T, but of course the different departments never actually communicate to one another.  That's the stupid 1%.

I have been on my feet all day, cutting and laying shelf paper in the kitchen because our stuff is supposed to show up tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning.  I am tired.  I am hungry.  AND Rod is waiting to get on this computer.

More later!!!

STARTING AGAIN

The Rogue Speaks:

After a very long and harrowing trip of 5 days in the car, we arrived in Brunswick yesterday.  I will write more about this later, but for now I will tackle Jenny's Saturday Centus.  This is no easy feat for someone whose brain has turned to mush, and whose retina is forever imprinted with the the view of the rear end of Rod's car.

Starting Again

Brunswick is warm and soft, and cool,

 with salty liquid soothing my aching body,

 and many sandy bits clinging

 to my limbs, and puppy paws, as

surf flows in and out.

That's it!  The first offering, that of Susan Mystery, is the only one I have read so far, and try as I  could, I couldn't match it.  Be sure to check it out.

We close on the house on Monday, but the moving company, which will be DEALT WITH  in another post (remember, I take no prisoners) will not arrive until sometime between the 14th and the 17th, despite the fact that the salesman told us "five to seven days" from when they packed last Thursday and Friday.

If anyone wants to email me, my new email address is judiemcewen at gmail dot com.  Google will also be DEALT WITH in a later post.

Later!

DON'T BLAME SIRIUS!!!

The Rogue Speaks:

This will be my last Saturday Centus for a while because come Monday, I will be on the road, driving to Brunswick with Liz draped around my neck, and Keil beside me.  Rod will be in the lead, with Mulligan.  O.k., so I screwed up the first time, and didn't read the word "poetry,"  so what follows is my second offering, and then you can read my first, which is definitely not poetic!

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Sirius? Get serious!

I was so very curious

About the Greeks’ mercurious

Feelings of that star,

It actually made me furious,

How wrong those Grecians are!

Their views were just presumptuous,

Their feelings just assumptuous,

Their attitude was bumptious

And surely under par!

The tale is just fictious!

The “dog star’s” not incindious!

It can’t be that ferocious!

It’s simply just too far

To make my sweat so copious!

The heat is just SOLAR!

The temperature’s ferocious,

And if you are compunctious,

And feeling rather unctuous,

Just blame our closest star.

My swimming pool is glorious

And I feel victorious!

So come on in and join us!

You’ll see how COOL we are!

Now here's my original:

Poor Sirius! The Romans thought that he was to blame for the hottest, most sultry days of July and August.  Sirius is the brightest star in the constellation in Canis Major (Big Dog), and the Romans believed that sacrificing a brown dog when the Dog Days began would appease the rage of the brightest star in the Northern Hemisphere.  Even the Greeks and the Egyptians blamed that shining pup!

Now you know where the expression “Dog Days” of summer actually came from.  Here are our two dogs, lounging around in the air conditioned house with Rod.  The maze of boxes has them a little confused!!

Wanna go out?  Nah! It's too HOT!

Adios, Tucson!!

My next post will be from coastal Georgia.  I'll send photos!!

KAKISTOCRACY!

The Rogue Speaks:

Yes, it is a REAL but obscure word.  It means "governed by the worst."  Now you know that I am about to launch into one of my political rants.  It won't be a long one, though.  The packers are coming in the morning and I have to start setting aside stuff that I will be needing over the next few days, so it doesn't get accidentally packed.  I decided to put the toaster and the coffee maker in the fridge, along with all the paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.  They'll never find them there.  Brilliant, yes, I know!

The Olympics are in full force, and so are the politicians.  Mitt Romney has already managed to piss off Great Britain, and the Palestinians on his three-country tour.  I guess the Poles got by unscathed, but probably because Mitt's handlers cut all the Polish jokes out of his speeches.  This guy is dangerous!  If by some awful disaster, like hanging chads, millions of voters were disenfranchised at the polls, and he was elected president, we would be more than likely to lose allies because of his political gaffs!  And if he managed to seriously piss off one of our enemies, American could become toast, literally!  Diplomacy!  Can you spell "diplomacy," Mitt?  No?  I didn't think so.

Let's face it.  The guy is not quick on his feet when he tries to speak extemporaneously (dog? airtight box? roof of the car?)  Couple that with his mask-like, pasted-on smile and those dead-looking eyes, and you've got someone who could give America a bad name in a big hurry.

And what about all that money he has stashed away in off-shore accounts?  Show us all your tax returns, Mitt!  You want to be president, yet you steal from your own country by hiding assets so they cannot be taxed.  There's a name for that, too--KLEPTOCRACY--and, no, I did not make that up.  It means "governed by thieves."  It's bad enough that there are so many of those in Congress, and we certainly don't need a thief in the Oval Office, now do we??

Remember the expression "Rome wasn't built in a day"?  Well, no one could possibly clean up the ungodly mess after eight years of George W. Bush in only four years.  Think about that one!  The last thing we need is another conservative republican in the White House.

That's my lesson for Miss Jenny's class on Alphabe-Thursday!  I can't decide now if I want to pack more stuff, or nap.  Pack?  Nap? Nap wins.  Bye!

p.s. We are leaving Tucson on Monday, so I won't be around for a while, but check back after August 14.  Hopefully, the van will arrive on time in Brunswick, and I'll be good to post!!!