A is for Adultery

The Rogue Speaks:

A

If north Georgia is, as James Dickey once said, the “country of the nine-fingered people,” then I believe that south Georgia is a woman whose waist has been cinched wasp-like by the Bible Belt. 

That old dinosaur, Pat Robertson said last week that if men commit adultery, it is just not their fault, and women who are married to such men should do whatever they can to bring those unfaithful men back into the marriage bed in such a way that they no longer want to stray.  He goes on to say that women should entice their husbands back by dressing seductively, not criticizing their actions,  being sweet and loving, blah, blah blah.   Old Pat believes that men stray because “that’s just the way men are.”  Hogwash, I say.

I mentioned Pat’s remarks to a friend, a true woman of the south, and her response was that she doesn’t “necessarily disagree” with Pat Robertson.  I’m the outsider here, even though I was born in the south and lived here for many years before exploring new horizons.  Those words caused an alarm to go off in my head.  They made me back off and want to tell her that I had to dash because I had an appointment for brain surgery in 30 minutes and just could not be late.  I am just not quick on my feet .

Another golfing friend was totally incensed at Pat’s remarks.  A transplant from New Jersey, she was quick to make her views known.

“Cheat on me, buddy, and I will make your life a living hell.  I will stalk you like a hawk to find out just what skanky slut has managed to convince you that you are some kind of god who can do whatever-the-hell you want.  I will be relentless.  You can tell me that “it’s over,” and that you “made a mistake,” and that you’ll “never do it again,” but you had better believe that I won’t trust you again for a New York minute. 

If I am a woman of little means, with children to raise, then I will knuckle down and figure out just what it is going to take for me to be self-sufficient and raise my children on my own.  Of course, I will sue your ass for maintenance and child-support, but I will not live with you any longer than I have to.  I will take you to the cleaners.   If you don’t pay up, then you will definitely go to jail.  I will see to it!”

“Have you ever been poor?” I asked.  “Do you have children?”  (Sometimes less is more.)

“Some shall be pardon’d, and some punished.*”

Women have gotten the short end of the stick way too long, and organized religion has not helped them one iota.  We have been told far too long that the husband is the head of the household, and that women should listen and obey his wise counsel.  Any woman with half a brain knows that is just not true.  All one has to do is look at the state of the nation, run primarily by men, to know that women in charge could whip this country into shape and not even break a nail!  Admit it!  You have thought that more than once!  I just cannot see women behaving the way some of those jerks in Washington do. (Well, except for Olivia Pope, who has been sleeping with "President Fitz" in Scandal.  Hahahaha!!!)

I was happy to see those wives of political figures dump their cheating husbands.  I frankly think that Hillary should have dumped Bill, but she did have furthering her own agenda in mind, I suppose.  I am sure that theirs isn’t the only marriage that operates more like a business partnership.  Guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.

I guess what I really question about Pat Robertson’s remarks  about men and adultery is that the last time I checked,  “Thou shalt not commit adultery” was still one of the Ten Commandments.  I don’t think one can pick and choose what commandments to obey, and which to ignore.  Since God seems to talk to Pat an awful lot, Pat should just ask God about that one and tell us what God says.  After all,  those Commandments ARE His!!  AND I think it is just plain wrong of Pat to blame another person for the shortcomings of the spouse.  We are adults, and therefore responsible for ourselves and our own actions.  "The Devil made me do it" just doesn't work in the 21st Century.

It's time, I think, to put old Pat out to pasture, or send him off to the glue factory.  He is starting to plain out smell of decay.

This is my offering for Jenny’s Alphabe-Thursday.  Please read the other offerings for the letter “A.”  I’m heading over there right now!!!

 

*Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliette, Act 5, Scene 3   

Argh? What's an argh?

The Rogue Speaks:

Many of you may not know that Jenny Matlock, Off On My Tangent, is actually a friend of mine, and not just a blogging friend ("not that there's anything wrong with that!").  She has gone above and beyond the calling of friendship, and has made my life measurably better during the time that I have known her.  Her's are the only memes that I respond to, even when they seem a little out of my realm.  I can always come up with something, however vague, when her Saturday Centus doesn't actually grab me by the throat and the words don't actually fall out of my fingers and onto the page.  This is one of those times.  The prompt this Saturday is "Argh, matey!"  I have 100 words, in addition to the prompt, to provide you with a little vignette.  Here is my offering:

How Rod Spent Saturday

"First we have to remove  the pine straw from around these little plants."

"But I thought you wanted it there."

"I never said that."

"Argh, Matey."

"Then we have to dig up the plants, scoop out a big hole, throw out the sand, and put in good garden soil.  Then we put the plants back."

"But that's a lot of work!"

"Start digging."

"Argh, Matey."

"You're getting the sand on our lawn!  It'll kill the grass!"

"Well where should I put it??"

"Put it in that plastic container, then dump it in the vacant lot!"

"Argh, Matey."

"STOP SAYING THAT!!!"

"Argh, Matey." 

Z is for Zeitgeist

The Rogue Speaks:

We're at the end of the alphabet for this round of Jenny's Alphabe-Thursday, and I'm sure there are a lot of fabulous Z words that her participants have come up with.  My word for this week was going to be Zeitgeist.  The Zeitgeist is the spirit of the time, or age, if you prefer.  This refers to the intellectual fashion or the most prominent school of thought that creates  current cultural norms in a particular period of time.  It sounds like a pretty wonderful word, if you are into philosophy, and is probably great fodder for debates.  I did a little studying up on it, and got a headache.  Did I really want to bore and confound my readers with the views of philosophers they have probably never heard of?  Did I want to bore and confound MYSELF??

Instead, I have a little video to warm your heart:


<


I'll see you on Saturday for our Saturday Centus!

Lime? Coconut?

The Rogue Speaks:

Jenny's Saturday Centus for this week really struck a chord with me.  I've been away from my blog for soooooo long, and I really need to jump back in and participate, so here is my offering for this week, at exactly 107 words.  The prompt is in bold type:

I’ve done everything!   I quit smoking,  then I remembered  people who quit smoking gain an average of 11 pounds.  So I gave up wine--all those empty calories.  I couldn’t sleep.  I thought if I took myself off the medication that is supposed to relieve the pain associated with my medical condition, and relieve depression, I would feel better.  That stuff wasn’t working so I dumped it. 

“Put the lime in the coconut.”  What kind of cure is that?  Holistic medicine? “Oh, mister Doctor man I think I’m’ going insane.”  I’ll try ANYTHING!!  So I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up…still waiting…

 

I've really done all those things, and I'm trying to get better.  I hope I do, because I am really at my wit's end here.  Wish me luck!!

Not MY Code Red

The Rogue Speaks:

I got a lot of feedback from my "Onus" post, so for this Saturday Centus, I am taking a break and referring you instead to a blog called The Red Sweater.  What you will find there is not a Saturday Centus, but instead a heartbreaking saga about the life of a friend and her son.  I hope you will take the time to read some of the entries, and comment to her.  Let her know that I sent you over.

I am heading over to Jekyll Island in a few minutes to view the annual arts festival.  A report will follow!!!

Grandma Was Right!!

The Rogue Speaks:

Yes, I'm late with my Saturday Centus.  I was conflicted.  I kind of wanted to write about the young woman who was fired for having pre-marital sex, but decided against that one.  Jenny gave us a good prompt, and another 100 words to write, so I came up with this (the prompt is in bold type):

My grandma always told me, you can’t judge a book by its cover.  One must really read the blurb, or at least a good review before purchasing it.  That goes for movies, too!

Rod and I hadn’t seen a movie since we moved here, and since it was COLD, and not golf weather, we went to see “Silver Linings Playbook.”  Folks at the Academy Awards said it was good.   NOT!!!

WAY TOO STRESSFUL!  LOTS OF YELLING AND SCREAMING!  About 20 minutes into the film, I wanted my money back.  I gritted my teeth and stuck it out, though, right through the dance contest.
 

This movie was like Dancing With The Stars on Klonopin.  If you come from a dysfunctional family, and frantic, screaming people make you sick to your stomach, don’t see it!

Art?  There is ART and there is ART.  This was not art.

O is for ONUS

The Rogue Speaks:

1ONUS

[Latin —]

a: burden

b: obligation

c: blame

d: stigma

2

[New Latin onus (probandi), literally, burden of proving]: burden of proof

Onus.  Do you know that word?  Well, of course you do!  Have you ever used it, and if so, how?  Have you ever said, “Well, the onus is on you!,” meaning the burden or obligation, or blame is on you.  It can also mean the stigma is on you.  Keep these definitions in mind while I tell you some stories.

This is story #1.  A friend of mine has an adult son who is not only an alcoholic, but is also suffers from schizophrenia.  He is supposed to be living in a facility in another state, but sometimes he checks himself out, goes off his meds, goes on a bender, and ends up at her doorstep.  This guy is not a YOUNG adult.  He is well into his adulthood, and is no mental dummy.  His actions cause my friend a huge amount of stress, especially when he ends up in her town and is thrown in jail for getting drunk and screwing up.  Then he calls her and tells her he loves her and she has to bail him out and give him a place to stay.  My friend is a senior citizen, and has issues of her own that she is struggling with, so when her son shows up, she is just beside herself. 

Now I ask you, my highly intelligent blogging friends, is the onus on her?  Should she end up being responsible for her adult child for the rest of her life?  Is it  One child, in any way HER fault that he ended up in such a state?  I seriously want to know what you think about this story.

Now I have ANOTHER friend who has several children.  They were all raised in the same house, and lived by the same rules, but ONE of them ended up getting into drugs and has ended up being hospitalized several times, and just CANNOT seem to stay straight, no matter how much her family tries to help her.  Again, this woman is an adult.  Is the onus on her family that she has ended up in this state?  Is the onus on them to care for her indefinitely?? Please give me your thoughts on this story, #2.

Story #3 is about another woman who has a very large family.  Her children are all well into adulthood.  With the exception of one adult child, her children have grown up to be very loving and responsible adults.  All but one of her children has children of their own.   The mother’s life was difficult to say the least, and she was married more than once, but despite her difficulties, she always tried to do the best that she could in raising her children.  One child, however, the oldest, has some serious but questionable issues with the mother. 

This adult child has two children.  Unbeknownst to the family, the first child was sent away to live with friends in another state because he was deemed to be unmanageable.  The extended family was kept in the dark for a year in regard to the whereabouts of the child, and when the truth came out, the mother of the child would not let the grandparents even see their grandson.  Reasons for this behavior were vague, and basically unknown.

As a result of this alienation, the boy grew up not knowing that his grandparents loved and missed  him.  When he finally contacted them he was a high school graduate and only wanted money so he could take a trip.

The  second grandchild in this family was dearly loved by the grandparents, and they tried to spend as much time with him as they could.  The child actually preferred to be with his grandparents, stating that his mother didn’t love him.  As you might expect, those words only inflamed the mother, and caused even more alienation.

How did the child’s children turn out?  The older, who is HIGHLY gifted, ended up getting married young  and  has a job with hourly pay.  Had he had a kind and loving parent whose goal in life was to do the best that could be done for him, he would have gone on to a successful college life at best.

The second child, also a boy if you remember, decided to leave home and go to live with his biological father.  He graduated from high school before he moved away, but he has no job, no driver’s license, and no visible means of support, and he is only 22 years old.  He watches a lot of t.v.

As it was told to me, this is a pretty long story, and not yet finished, but I think you get the general idea.

Now, my question is about this woman with the angry and disrespectful child, whose own children could have succeeded in life but shamefully did not,  is as follows:  Is the onus on my friend, the mother, for the behavior of one child when all the other children had exactly the same love and the same upbringing?  Just what is the onus in regard to her relationship with her unhappy adult child who basically has no use for her?  Should she continue to take verbal abuse from her progeny?  Should she try for some kind of reconciliation??   Just where does one draw the line?  Give me your thoughts, please, on Mother #3.

Whew!  I'm glad my kids are all grown up with children of their own!  We had a house full at Christmas, and hope that more will show up for spring break!!!

O.k., I have learned that for some reason known only to Blogger, my link is not working correctly, so I am sorry about that, and hope that you have clicked on the yellow "HOME" below the bad news.

One a brighter note, I have been set FREE by Summit Sports Medicine to once again play golf as of next Wednesday.  We shall see how that goes!!

Please be sure to read the other lessons for Jenny’sAlphabe-Thursday.  I’m heading over there right now!!