The Rogue Speaks:
Jenny Matlock has given us a very meaningful prompt for this week's Saturday Centus. Actually, she has given us two, but I will only address one this week. It is about boundaries. We all know what they are, and we should respect the boundaries of our friends and family members. Unfortunately, I am the only person in my family who knows about boundaries. That is why I live here, and they live there, and ne'er the twain shall meet! Unfortunately, this is an actual conversation between me and a member of my family who is now deceased. The prompt is in bold type, and here is my offering:
"My husband's salary is none of your business."
"Well, I just want to be sure that you are being well taken care of."
"That's a switch! You didn't give a rat's ass that my first husband was beating the hairy flang out of me on a daily basis."
"You're exagerating."
"You're just nosey."
" Humph! Well, forget about that! Come on! I want to show you what my renter has in the apartment downstairs."
"You have to recognize that a boundary is a boundary. You have no right to go snooping through her things! She PAYS you to live there, not to SNOOP!!"
"Whatever!"
17 comments:
Hear, hear! Boundaries are important.
I'm feelin' this one.
=)
It sure is agonizing to attempt to set boundaries with people who have none. At least that struggle is over.
As always, I enjoyed your writing. Thanks, Judie.
Be well.
xoRobyn
I so empathize! Isn't it bizarre that some people have never learned what is blatantly rude to ask? I see certain things a definite signs of a lack of respect...maybe in most cases it's just thoughtlessness though, who knows. I thankfully have never had to deal with this from family but I have had my share of mind blowing comments and questions from people who don't know me well. I always wonder why certain things seem open to comment, especially very personal matters.
Anyway, great post!
Hope your weekend is wonderful!:)
Colleen
Judie: It sounds like you put yourself into a bull-fighting arena, but you don't like bulls, so you want them to bring in lambs instead. You will keep getting gored - until you stop playing that game. Many families and friends are like those you describe. When they get agonizingly stupid, I just tell them to have a great day - and move on. Eventually, they realize they need another hobby.
Hi again!
Bit late visiting this time unfortunately - due to work pressures!
Great post as always.
Wishing you a great week ahead & looking forward to *seeing* you again soon.
LOLA:)
My favorite line when asked a question that seems a little (too) personal, "Why do you want to know?" *smile*
I don't know why it seems to make them stutter to be called out.
But it IS harder with family especially my knows everyone's business small town Oklahoma roots.
Hello Judy,
I know where you are coming from.
I like my boundaries to be respected like I do respect other's.
Unfortunately, most relatives won't.
Then...I just cut them off.
Cheers!
Cristina.
Ouch! Some people just cannot live within boundaries, Judie. They seem to thrive on the pain of others because they have no lives of their own.
Hugs~~~
Setting boundaries are definitely important! Wow, I can't believe that is an actual conversation that took place between you and someone else! That's quite scary to know that the person you are renting from is going through your stuff. Talk about an invasion of privacy! Isn't that kind of illegal?
I quote Dostoyevsky: "To hell with him who pries into the human heart." It's beautiful when people freely share their hearts and minds with us. But it has to be voluntary, and a matter of deep mutual trust.
oooo....zap! That's telling it!
When taking care of friends' houses while they're on vacation, I make sure to do only that which I am asked, to go only where I need to go, and absolutely stay OUT of their business.
I have a friend who says her MIL goes through their closets when she visits. GAAH!
a new journal for you--Why, your writings are so wonderful, do you get them all out here on your blog? You could use it for an idea sketch book. Whatever you use it for, do have fun!
This conversation just sets my teeth on edge, have had far too many like it myself. And did they really go through their renter's things? Unbelievable! And they probably didn't see anything wrong in doing that! Great take on the prompt. Kat
"You didn't give a rat's ass that my first husband was beating the hairy flang out of me on a daily basis." Oh, my gosh, that made me laugh! I have never heard that phrase used before! Hey, every family has at least one of those family members, right?
Thanks for your funny comments on my story. I'm not going back to WalMart unless I'm packin'!
Malisa
Very different take and engaging... but its a sad fact that a lot of people don't respect other's privacy and see nothing wrong in that...
Some people never take a hint. They can't learn ever...
plateau
I don't know how I messed up the prompt this week, but I apologize.
I love what you did with this.
I know a few people that think a boundary just means they need to try harder to bulldoze me.
Sigh.
thanks for a great story, Judie.
This voice communication simply sets my teeth edgy, have had way too several find it irresistible myself. And did they extremely bear their renter's things? Unbelievable! and that they in all probability did not see something wrong in doing that! nice wrestle the prompt. Kat! Mirena IUD Lawsuit
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