Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Parting Gift


The Rogue Speaks:

A free Saturday morning for me! Yippee! So I have had all morning long to develop a Saturday Centus. I'm not sure about this one--maybe I work better under pressure. In any case, here it is, with Jenny's prompt in bold type:

He had been her first and only love.

Although the traditional gift for a first anniversary was paper, an item that could be torn, burned, flushed, destroyed, what he gave her was a gift she least expected. The letter from the state health department told her all she needed to know about his devotion and faithfulness. Sadly, it all made sense, the many nights away, poker with “the guys.” How could she have been so blind!!

Sitting quietly, she wept, the letter lying in her lap. She now knew why her doctor had insisted on a complete blood work-up. It wasn't the flu. The words in the letter were burned into her brain.."you have tested positive...."

31 comments:

Susan Anderson said...

Oh, no. I can't even imagine.

(the jerk)

Very original take on this one.

=)

Lynn said...

Oh boy, a letter no one should get!

Nonna Beach said...

Excellent Judie !
That would be a real heartbreaking nightmare !

RNSANE said...

That is the saddest news one can receive, especially after one has loved and trusted someone!

Bookie said...

Oh, so sad but very realistic for some folks....

Cher Duncombe said...

So terribly sad, but so well-written. It makes you wonder just how many women have gone through this scenario.

cj Schlottman said...

Awe, Judie, this one made me want to cry. What a daring take on this prompt! As always, well done.

Namaste..........cj

Ames said...

Ut oh! I'm not liking those words..."you have tested positive" What a twist Judie. ~Ames

Dazee Dreamer said...

omg, that was so, so sad. You really captured what truly must go out in those letters. Very good job. I totally had to read it twice.

21 Wits said...

Oh no for her, what a horrible bit of news, and the realization of it all! What an excellent take on the prompt....I'm a bit behind, but it will be out later or in the morning! Have a great weekend Judie!

JJ said...

There are certain things in life I will never understand. Hurting someone is one of them.

Madge said...

That made the hair stand up on my neck, great job.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Oh no. I really feel for her. This is a powerful one, Judie. Great work!
xoRobyn

Porky said...

That is terrible, but your Centus is a good reminder of what's out there lurking.

Jo-Ann Sanborn said...

Your unique take always delights and surprises. Good one, Judy!

Tom Hakkinen said...

What a dreadful way to learn of your partner's infidelity! I think her lecherous husband ought to fear the revenge that might be met out upon him. I think he might find it a sort of fury the likes of which "hell hath not".

Lola said...

Such a sad story ...

Hope you have a good week ahead,

XOXO Lola:)

noexcuses said...

Devastating! What a sad, but oh so true story! Great use of the prompt, as well as the picture!

Tammy said...

Beautifully written. I literally gasped out loud at the end. In other words: GOL!

Jo said...

omg .... this was so sad .... wonderfully done, but sad ... i really felt for her.

Donna Volkenannt said...

Quite a shocker. An unsuspected ending for sure.
Donna

jabblog said...

So sad - love and trust killed in one chilling diagnosis.

One of the Guys said...

You are good. I really like reading these, even though this particular one was a bit morbid and sad.

Have a good week.

BECKY said...

Wow! Another surprise ending! Although the story was devastating...great writing! Great job!

Unknown said...

Oh, Judie... This text is about something that should never happen, but does, I am sure, all too often. You really wrote a text to make others want to shed tears for your protagonist. So sad and so well-written.

However, if we look at the nuts and bolts of what is happening here, I might want to be a little bit critical on one point: I doubt whether anyone would actually get a letter like this, at least not here in Sweden. I think the procedure for this kind of information, if you have terminal cancer or are found to be hiv-positive, which is almost like a death-sentence, the patient in question would be called to meet with someone qualified, such as a nurse or doctor, who would convey this very sad message in person.

Even in mystery and crime novels (such as Ruth Rendal's Wexford series), it is the sad duty of the police to go home to the next of kin and tell them that their son, daughter, brother, sister, husband or wife has been found dead.

But your text is great. It really grabbed me in the gut. You had to stick with the theme of 'paper', which means that you must use the idea of a written or typed letter that contains bad knews.

I think American soldiers who are killed in war get a letter from the Sectretary of Defense. [Correct me if I am wrong. When I was visiting in West Virginia some years back, there was a big stink about then Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfelt not signing personally all of the thousands of letters to the famillies of soldiers killed in, was it Irak or Afganistan(?) He used a rubber stamp or an image of his signature in the computer] Maybe there are other routines in the US pertaining to how information is to be given to patients who are diagnosed with a dangerous desease. Being a nurse, you should know more than I do. I just know that this story would not work in Sweden. If it is something that bad and life-threatening, they tell the person directly, face to face in a closed room.

Great Centus!

Thank you for visiting and commenting on my quick little text. You are first commenter and get an extra link back here.

Best wishes,
Anna

FOr the benefit of other readers:
Anna's SC-52-Sanna's novel

Jenny said...

Judy, I loved this. I think I must be getting all dark in my old age because this was really intriquing to me.

I enjoyed how you captured not only the despair and anger but painted such a visual picture in so few words.

You are a master word crafter.

Wow.

Angelia Sims said...

How do you do that? You are truly amazing. I wish I had a 10th of your ability to intrigue a story in so few words.

The first moonflower bloomed in the yard. I actually found a picture of my flowers and it listed them as a weed. No wonder they like the grass better than the garden bed. Ha.

Been a rough few days wanted to come by and be cheered. :-)

Patti said...

Thank you for popping by and visiting me this past Saturday. It was my first time joining in with the Saturday Centus group...never heard of it until this past Saturday. What a great meme!!

Anyhow, wow, this post is amazing. Very well-written. But so heartbreaking. You definitely have a wonderfully creative mind.

Cher Duncombe said...

I had to come back and read this again. Excellent writing, Judie!

Unknown said...

Wow, what a dark Saturday Centus... Very depressing indeed! Also very good writing :)

THE SNEE said...

You gave me chills!