The Rogue Speaks:
I know that title sounds familiar, but as most of you know, I have had a less than stellar summer, and while I am waiting patiently for my muses to return, I decided to do some repeats. The following post is from last March. I wrote it while I was still marginally amusing:
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I am embarrassed to admit that one of my weaknesses is cocktail napkins. But they can't be just any cocktail napkins--they have to have some silly (or sage) phrase, and/or picture on them. Whenever I go shopping at a certain store in town, I head straight for the napkins. I was in that store today, and found some I thought I could not live without.
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That voice! I HATE that voice! It spoils all my fun! You know the one I mean--the one in your head that reminds you that you already have a whole shelf in the kitchen just stacked with an item that you crave, so PUT THAT BACK!
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Before I discovered cocktail napkins, my passion was poultry. For a while, everyone was giving me chickens, chicks, roosters, etc., to put in my niche above the cabinets. Then one day I discovered that eventually you have to get the ladder, climb to the top rung, and dust every one of those non-essential items or they begin to look grungy. Dusting high places has never appealed to me, and especially dusting things that are non-essential. Bye-bye, chickens!
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Cocktail napkins don't get dusty, because they are wrapped in cellophane, and tucked away on a cabinet shelf. Even after you open them, you can put what you don't use in a zip-lock bag, all ready for the next time. That "next" time has become a problem, because I don't entertain nearly as much as I used to, and I have a cabinet shelf filled with cocktail napkins that will probably not be used in my lifetime.
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I thought everyone would just love those cute napkins at parties. But you know what happens? They grab a napkin to put their drinks on, and the cuteness goes unnoticed. I could put out squares of toilet paper instead, and that would work just as well.
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The only person who seems to appreciate my napkins is my Best Friend Artist. She always laughs and tells me how cute they are. So, to get around the fact that the last thing I needed to buy today were more cocktail napkins, I bought her a couple of packages for her birthday. Of course, it isn't until May, but I just told that voice to shut up because this was different--it wasn't for me. Don't you think that makes it all right?
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Shhhh! Don't tell her what she's getting! I want it to be a surprise!
13 comments:
I used to have the same problem with CDs, back when I worked in record stores. I'd take home promo CDs of popular music, even if I didn't like it. I figured one day I'd be having this fabulous dinner party and someone would say, "Oh, do you have any... whatever..." And I'd say, "oh, of course" and I'd whip out some esoteric artsy-fartsy CD and everyone would audibly gasp with approval.
But after a few more years in the real world, I realized that I wasn't having any dinner parties and all I had was a rack full of unopened CDs that I hated.
Hellooooooo Used record store!
Awesome post, Judie! I loved the cocktail napkin you displayed here. See, I fall into the same trap, but I do it with comforters for our beds. A tad more of an expensive habit, wouldn't you say? Every time I get a catalog that has comforters in it, I have this compulsion to order one. Last week I gave two virtually unused comforters to my daughter-in-law and told Rich (who always gets the mail) to toss any and all catalogs. Maybe there is a Twelve-step program for us.
Tony, I am attempting to purge, but it isn't easy. Sometimes I have to just close my eyes and toss! Sometimes, though, I wish I still had my old record collection. They might be valuable! HAHAHAHAHA
Cher, don't mention bed-linens to me. I am finally over that one.
Delighted to meet such a fun, multi-talented artist. Your blog is wonderful! I'll stop by and party from time to time--I understand you have a lot of cute cocktail napkins and I've got plenty of glasses.
Jo-Ann, all I can say is "Wheeeee!!"
Did you read that, Rogues? Now we won't have to drink out of plastic cups!!
You and Cher should do a joint post - Cocktail Napkins and Comforters- it has a nice ring to it!
I think books are my main thing these days. I have enough reading material to last for a couple of lifetimes, but still give in to buying another one.
ChrisJ, why do you think I only buy books in the summer? That used to be a weakness, but when I ran out of places to put them, I realized I had to get a grip. Here is my list of former weaknesses:
books, records, tapes, cds, bed linens, poultry, cocktail napkins, blah, blah, blah!
Do you see a theme here? All comfort articles! If you wonder about the poultry, remember I am from the south (fried chicken! Big comfort food!) And as for the cocktail napkins, well, I do love a little wine! It is so comforting!
I'll watch out for toilet paper napkins now if I ever visit you. Nowadays I'm listening to that little voice much better. I really have too much crap.
Rod is out walking Mulligan. Wheh he gets home, he's going to Good Will with a car-load of bed linens!
Oh! I love it's little spotlight!! How cool. :-) I shall name it Judie from this day forward. :-)
I love funny napkins. I would have paid attention! Forget those non-detailed people. Lol.
I am a magazine/book collector with no time to read. Arggh.
When I lived in Chicago, I planted moonflowers every spring to shade my kitchen window. I love them!
Blow "Judie" a kiss from me!
Love that napkin. I'm sure I'd notice. But I'd still put my drink on it.
Maybe your muse would be inspired by some of the cocktail napkin sayings! It sounds to me like your writing mojo is going just fine!
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