Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

THE ALPHA DOG


The Rogue Speaks:

This is a departure from my usual Alphabe-Thursday offering because I am not feeling very intellectual today. The bathroom remodel is going on, the house is filled with the sound of an electric saw, and to add to that, I am constantly chasing after Liz, who snapped up a plumbing "U" joint and chewed holes in it. There is plaster dust everywhere, as well as little white dog footprints in every room. I am trying to remain calm, however, because as the saying goes, "children will be children." Bearing that in mind, please enjoy my offering, "A is for Alpha Dog."

There is a battle raging in my home, and it happens on a daily basis. It is a battle for power and respect, and it is going on between Mulligan and Little Liz to become the Alpha dog. Mulligan thinks because he is bigger and older, he should be the Alpha dog. Little Liz thinks because she is petite, cute, fearless, and completely self-absorbed, that she should be in charge, or in her own words "Queen of the World."

Here's the latest argument between our two dog-children:



Liz: "You're not the boss of me! I have papers!"

Mulligan: "WTF!!! Just because I'm undocumented doesn't mean that you can just ride roughshod over me! I've worked hard to survive! Before Mom and Dad adopted me, I was dissed and beaten up on a daily basis by a Sheltie! I had to fight for my food, and when I tried to escape, those people would always drag me back! You've never had to work a day in your life, you little..."

Liz: "I'm tellin'! You called me the "B" word! Mom! Mulligan called me the "B" word!"

Mulligan: "That's right, you little tattletale! Go on! Do it! I dare you! Go hide behind Mom like you always do!"

Liz: "Mom loves me the best!"

Mulligan: "Does not!"

Liz: "Does too!"

Mom: "What's going on in here? You two are playing on my last nerve!! Take that screaming and fighting outside before I put you both in "time out! Mulligan, watch out for your sister so the raptors don't get her!"

Mulligan: "I hope they do! It would serve her right!"

Mom: "You don't mean that! Your sister loves you! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

Liz: "Mom! He hates me! He's always trying to get me in trouble!"

Mulligan: "Hahaha! That's a joke! You're the one who pees on the floor! You get in trouble all by yourself! Stop acting like such a baby!"


Does this exchange sound familiar to you? Well, it certainly does to me! I have been hearing it now for more than 40 years! It all started after my first two human children became old enough to talk, and it has been going on ever since. Our vet is always reminding me that one cannot attach human emotions to animals. He doesn't live in this house, though.

We always took the first two dog-children to Atlanta with us when we went to see our parents. We were visiting my mother one afternoon, when the dog-children got into some mischief involving a squirrel on the patio. I was lecturing them when my mother walked into the den.

"You're talking to those dogs just like they were people!" my mother declared.

"What dogs??" I asked.

As I write, the battle for the spot of Alpha dog rages on. But tonight, when the lights are turned out and we are all in bed, those two dog-children will be cuddled up together. They look so sweet and innocent when they are asleep. Does that sound familiar??

>p.s. If you have not read my post from Sunday, then please continue reading. Bloggers Unite is a very important group that needs your support. Join today. It is so easy to do. Together, we can make a difference.

43 comments:

Terra said...

LMAO! Really. I thoroughly enjoyed that from top to bottom even the sweet doggies sleeping together made me smile! I had two dogs...they have both passed on but I get it! and I love it.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Ahh...they are so cute.

We have those battles here too, but they revolve around who is going to be "lead mare" It gets interesting when the contestants weigh a thousand pounds or so!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha...aw! how could those two possibly be put to "time-out"?

(I just watched an episode of Cesar Millan-the Dog Whisperer...helping with retraining some that were rescued from a puppy mill...it was so amazing to see the changes in these little guys!)

Blessings & Aloha!

EG Wow said...

Funny how they fight during the day but cuddle at night. :)

cherrylej said...

haha! your two dogs are funny and cute! i enjoyed reading their story :) visiting from alphabe-thursday. have a great day!

askcherlock said...

Oh Judie, Rich heard me laughing out loud all the way downstairs in the living room as soon as I read, "You're not the boss of me!" Oh my gosh, my kids said that all the time. This dialog between Lizzy and Mulligan is one of the funniest things I have ever read! I'm going to print it and hang it on the office wall!
Thanks so much for your p.s. too. I so appreciate the positive feedback you received for Patch, and I saw some badges and some who signed up. I am so thrilled! What a great group of blogging friends you have. Thanks to all for helping this compassionate man, Patch Adams.

JJ said...

Wait 'til they get married!

jfb57 said...

I just love the idea of your home being a battle ground between them both. you will tell us who wins in the end won't you!

Jo said...

dogs are so humans ...just dressed in fur and they don't like to blog ... but they are human i tell ya, and they have human emotions ...says me!!!

Judie said...

JJ, they can't get married! Besides, Mulligan would be shooting blanks, and Liz has no interest in sex--she is too busy primping. Oh, and, just like me, she's been spayed!!!

BEAR's Mom said...

Judie...LMAO you are so funny

and this is why BEAR is destined to be an only child :D

p.s. BEAR and I are also spayed

~victoria~

Francisca said...

Very funny, very cute, Judie. The last time I recall the conversation was with my own siblings, in other words, a looong time ago. A nice way for me to end the day. I've also read your previous post and have marked it in my calender.

Judie said...

I had my tubes tied after Keil was born. When he was about 8, he was visiting with a neighbor who had a golden retriever named BEAR. He asked her if Bear could have puppies, and she told him that bear couldn't because she had been spayed.

"My mama's been spayed!" Keil announced.

Ames said...

My girls take turns humping each other. :) ~Ames

Carol said...

My boys do this same argument all the time!! You're babies are cute!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Their conversation was such fun to listen in on.

Donnie said...

I see so many correlations there..lol..

Teresa said...

I do love this! It sounds just like my place.

ellen b said...

Oh dear...a remodel and a couple of doggies wanting to rule the roost. Hope the remodel is done fast!!

Amiko said...

lol...thats funny!

Btw thanks for stopping by, really appreciate it ^^d

Lola said...

Lola's the Alpha, er, bitch in this house!

Great post!

XOXO Lola & Nora:)

☆☆Mumsy said...

Cute and funny conversation! I've heard this kind of argument before, and some time now still.

storybeader said...

sounds like you need the Dog Whisperer... Having a male and female child in the house isn't a help either. Good luck with the struggle. {:-Deb

Life in Rehab said...

My "pack" has similar attitudes, but Arwen is clearly dominant over the Sheltie.

Sue said...

What a neat post. I think you've got it just right about the alpha dog struggle.

=)

ChrisJ said...

We just lost our "middle child" cat who was best buds with each of the remaining ones. She cuddled up during the day with her mom and with her bud Bandit at night. The two survivors don't like each other very much and are moping around missing Boots, as am I.

They really are like our kids.

5thsister said...

I have friends who own dogs similar to the ones you have. I believe every single word of their "discussions" with you and each other! :o)

taylorsoutback said...

There has to be one in every bunch...among our 3 shelties, Kelsie, the blue merle is definitely the Alpha. We shouldn't be surprised as she was the big one of the litter. She is also the most loving and the one needing constant reassurance that she is indeed the Queen.
How could we live without them?

Judie said...

If any of you have been following my blog for a while, you know that we lost our Precious girl last November. It was devastating to both of us. She was 14. Jo, of My Paper Playhouse, made me the beautiful collage that is on my right sidebar. I really treasure it. Please click on it and go to her blog to see more beauty.

lissa said...

dog-children - I like that term. I never had a pet so I don't really know what goes on but it doesn't sound so bad. at least, you won't be bore by them.

thanks for your visit.

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh this is just tooo cute, Judie!! I love it!! and I know just what you mean too!

Also, I wanted to tell you something funny...here in New Orleans when we got white dust on ourselves from the renovation, it was like a sign of accomplishment!!! It meant we had walls!!! That was a huge deal!

Xo
Cindy

Su-sieee! Mac said...

hahahaha...

dlmsliceofpie said...

Way too cute! Those dogs can't weigh more than a couple pounds ... They are just adorable. We're always 'talking' for our big boys ... It's pretty easy to tell what they are thinking! Thanks for sharing!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You are ever amusing, Judie. Mulligan's undocumented? Poor boy. Didn't pass the patriotism test, huh?
xoRobyn

City said...

What cute dogs you have! Great account of their struggle for power.

Akseli Koskela said...

My girlfriend also used to imagine what her little "Waggie" would say if she could talk. When you describe Liz, I can definitely imagine her personality.

Rekha said...

Loved this....they seem to have a human enough tussle judging from the pictures...why is the girl always a telltale..I was one"sheepish" :)

Tammy said...

You summed up our furry children just perfectly. And our less-furry ones!

dianesartnow said...

I am writing this as my new rescue Yorkie Jake is walking all over my keyboard. Emma and Jake do tolerate each other, no fighting but no cuddling either, Jake lifted his leg by Chuck's side of the bed this a.m. He says "he's YOUR dog". He likes him too, I am so happy to have two yorkies and one that loves me..

Mari's World said...

Very similar to the gibber of my twin girls sometimes! Put two sould in one room and someone has to come off best, right?
Loved your post and Happy Easter

Jingle said...

you did well.
bless your Sunday.

Happy Easter.

KDL said...

Thanks for stopping by The Simple Life. It was lovely to see you again. Given that I live with two three year olds and a child who often behaves as if she is three...and all of them love to argue, I can so relate to this...except that our arguments are in real live words and slightly less intellectual. sigh. earplugs? My sympathies for the remodeling woes, too. We remodeled for 5 years...in phases...ugh.

Jenny said...

Hmmm... I could have sworn a left a comment here, but it seems to be lost in the ether.

When our daughter lived with us she had a tiny little dog and we had the two standard dachsunds. That little dog was the alpha and it was hilarious!

I liked this post!

You always make me smile!

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