Jekyll Island Beach 2012

Jekyll Island Beach 2012
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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Cerebral Flatulence, My "C" Word



The Rogue Speaks:

Yes, you read that right. There is another name for it, a brain f***. I have always found that "f" word to be rather harsh, so I choose to not use it. We've all had one, though. In fact, I have had more than my share over the years.

The first one that comes to mind is when Rod had his accident on the golf course, and the paramedics were called. I raced to the course in record time (4 minutes) and discovered that not only was I barefoot,but my shirt was on inside-out! I followed the paramedics to the ER, forgetting that I had no shoes,etc. I did have a pair of golf shoes in my rolling closet, so I threw those on--no socks, though!!

How many times have you sprayed hair spray under your arms, or deodorant in your hair? BE honest, now!!! I have done it NUMEROUS times! Have your ever put Cortisone 10 on your tooth brush? Well, I have! Have you ever used a lip pencil on your eyebrows, or vice versa? Been there, done that!

I have been playing golf, gotten to the tee box, and discovered I had my putter in my hand. I have driven all the way over to the course in my golf cart, and then realized that my clubs were at home in the garage--MORE THAN ONCE!

I have unloaded groceries, and put the ice cream in the 'fridge instead of the freezer. After a few times, Keil said he would be in charge of the ice cream. Neither he nor Rod will let me forget that one.

Have you ever tried to pay for lunch at Applebee's with your Costco card? Doesn't work, let me tell you!

Cerebral flatulence hits us all, young and OLD alike! The next time it happens to you, acknowledge it in a genteel way! CEREBRAL FLATULENCE! Makes you sound classy, doesn't it?

Want to read about more "C" words? Go to JennyMatlock and check them out!

29 comments:

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

LOL! Been there, done that! Fun "C" post!

Sarah said...

I'd better not laugh at this one, since I'm getting closer to it myself. Too late. I laughed!

alisonmillerwoods said...

Love the term "Cerebral Flatulence"! I will have to start using that now (I had been using 'brain cloud) Thanks for the fun 'C' word!

askcherlock said...

Geez, I laughed all the way through this! My most difficult "CF" times are trying to find my cell phone. A friend was here last week and we were sitting at the kitchen breakfast nook. She needed some information and I said, wait a minute let me call so-and-so. I scanned the kitchen and didn't see my phone, so I went to Rich's which is always in the dining room and dialed my cell. Well, it rang all right--- in the kitchen exactly where I had been sitting! It's a good thing she has a sense of humor. :) My life is dependent on Post-its.

Elisa said...

Mine started 15 years ago. I cheerfully put outgoing mail in the mail slot outside for the mailman, came inside lifted the flap, saw the mail and said "Oh the mail's here!"

Ummmmmmm. That was followed by mild confusion and "why aren't any of these for me?"

omg Can't wait til I'm 70.

Tracy said...

Now this was the funniest C post I have read so far loved it.

The Guy's Perspective said...

I had to laugh. Yes, I have brushed my teeth with some sort of god awful cream. What a horrible experience!

Funny!

Brenda said...

To funny! Enjoyed your post, sorry do not want to add my list, think I will keep it to myself and just laugh along with you!

nothingprofound said...

Judie-it keeps getting worse and worse. Sometimes I can't believe the things that wind up in the refrigerator, or the time I spend looking for the key already in my hand or the glasses already hanging off the tip of my nose.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I thought I did that because I'm old! Makes me feel really good when it happens to young people!

How about keys in the refrigerator? Looking for your reading glasses all over the house when they are sitting on top of your head?

love it!

ChrisJ said...

Good term for it! I remember getting into the car, starting it, then frantically searching my pockets for the car keys - eventually "the penny drops."

Noelle said...

My mom just called and this was our conversation:

Noelle, I know why those oatmeal cookies didn't turn out.

Why Mom?

I didn't put the oatmeal in.

And then we laugh.

But then she says, "I can't find oatmeal anywhere on this recipe that you gave me last week."

"Ummm...Mom? I gave you a chocolate chip cookie recipe. It wasn't supposed to have oatmeal."

And then we laugh some more.

Jo said...

you mean I am not the only one??? lol Excellent C post, so totally relatable ... love it!

jeff campbell said...

funny story...I have this problem all the time...and such a lovely story about your "mum". Thanks for your gracious comments about my photo...Peace and blessings

Splendid Little Stars said...

LOL! good to know we're not alone! enjoying the comments, too!
looking over your books list. Let's see, I've read Firefly Lane, The Historian, have the Girls with the Dragon Tattoo on CD, Kabul Beauty School, currently reading The Help, Audrey Niffenegger has a new book?!, The Thirteenth Tale, did I miss an Anna Quindlen book?.
I bet you would enjoy Broken For You.

TheHOchieS said...

I'm having a 'cf' as we speak right this second.

I don't quite recall what I was initially going to write...

Curse you, CF.

Gattina said...

I can only say "hello sister", lol !
I am also good in this cerebral flatulance, although I couldn't find the explanation of this word even in Wikipedia. But since I always look for my glasses, car keys etc and went to my office in slippers which I also had put once in the fridge, I think I suffer from the same desease !

magsmcc said...

Oh this is funny! I have no idea what we'll do with all these conkers. Most definitely not going anywhere near gas fire! Probably sneak them into compost bin when suns' eyes averted post-pumpkin time!

Jenny said...

Judie, what a fun stop on our little journey through Alphabe-Thursday.

I love your candor here. My worst, worst, worst, most hated thing I do is when I buy glass cleaner in the metal can and mix it up with pam.

Yikes.

Getting pam off stone countertops is not an easy task.

And although I don't think it truly would have killed anyone to eat my casserole with glass spray, I threw it out just to err on the side of caution.

Thanks for the laugh.

You are a funny lady.

A+

Judie said...

Thanks, Jenny. People say that about me a lot, as in "That woman is really funny, you know--strange!"

Pondside said...

I once sprayed room deodorizer on my hair - I walked around all day in a weird cloud of dettol-like scent.

Lourie said...

Cerebral Flatulence! BHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is hilarious. I doubt I will remember it because I am full of it. Oh the things I've done. Like trying to cook a (frozen) pancake in the fridge...do that one almost every morning! My family just rolls their eyes now. LOL

Juliana Matthews said...

Really funny post. You know, I think it is to do with our female cognitive wiring - I am usually doing one thing whilst thinking of at least 3 things ahead!
One of my worse, still makes me want to curl up.
I had been invited to speak at a big European conference in Stockholm. At the time I had long hair that I used to fix by using these huge velcro hair curlers.
Day of presentation, there I was, smart suit, polished shoes, immaculate make-up. I stood on the podium and I was using a powerpoint presentation. now and again, to emphasise a point I would turn to the screen - and the audience of 500 would get a shocking glimpse of the bright purple hair curler at the back of my head - the one I had somehow 'missed'. Aaaagh!

Judie said...

Juliana, that is probably the biggest case of cerebral flatulence that has been reported so far!! I had a great laugh!!

all that i am said...

true confessions!
hilarious and sad
but true!

thank you for leaving your comment last night...

I'm having lunch today with a friend who just returned from New Zealand after being there with her husband whose mom was dying...and has died

I will surely share with her your back home series...

thank you for writing and sharing your life and her death...

Judie said...

Thanks for your kind comments. I hope mine help.

Annesphamily said...

LOL! Great C post! Anne

paige said...

Clever term! So many of those things sound familiar. :)

Melinda Cornish said...

I have worn two different shoes to work, and a blazer, blouse and a half slip to work....Yep, I forgot the skirt....I hear ya, loud and clear.